Silent Sunday - 1 May 2011

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Reasons to be Cheerful: sleep, splashes and family time

I thought it was about time I joined in with Michelle's Reasons to be Cheerful blog hop, especially considering what a lovely week we've had.

Father Badger has been off work since last Thursday, taking advantage (as millions of other people have) of the extra bank holiday to get lots of time off work for minimal annual leave. A full seventeen days as a family! It really has been lovely to spend so much time together, even if a lot of it has been spent catching up with jobs around the house. We've had a day out in Bath shopping, we've spent hours doubled over holding Baby Badger's hands while she walks around, we've spent time with family and gone on walks. I really don't want it to end after the bank holiday.

Today we went swimming, all three of us. It's the first time we've taken Baby Badger to a swimming pool. I know this is rather late in the day at almost eleven months old, but for months she hated baths and my reasoning was that if I couldn't keep her in a bath for more than thirty seconds without screaming, attempting a swimming pool was not going to be a winner. She loved it! Our local pool has a beach effect where it starts incredibly shallow and gradually gets to a depth for swimming. We spent the first ten minutes or so sitting in the shallows while she splashed and gradually went deeper. She was pretty happy being pulled forward on her tummy with my hands under her arms, not at all keen on going onto her back, however she was supported, and forgave me for dunking her under four times!

I decided a little while ago that I would like her to be in her own room by the time I go back to work in June. She'll be a year old and doesn't seem to need night feeds any more, and I think we'll all sleep better - we won't need to tiptoe, we won't wake her up turning over in bed, and I'll probably sleep better too. Last night we had her in her big girl room for the first time. How did it go? She slept soundly from 11 until our alarm went off at 7am. Hooray! I wonder if she'll do it again tonight...?

Silent Sunday - 24 April 2011

Take a look at more of today's Silent Sunday posts...

To believe or not to believe

A few days ago I came across a post by Bethan (no Y) regarding religion and her journey to find religion. Did she find it? Go read her post and find out... It got me thinking about my own struggles with faith.

I was brought up in a Christian family. My father's family are Catholic, with several priests in the family. My mother's family are Methodist. I chose to be baptised in the Church of England, presumably because it was familiar: both my primary and the local church are C of E. I went to sunday school and later church student group, and sang in the chapel choir at University.

Father Badger is firmly atheist. Not agnostic (i.e. not bothered, no firm beliefs) but militantly atheist: he firmly believes in no higher power, and he thinks that organised religion is a cause of evil in humanity. To an extent I sympathise with him: there have been many atrocities committed in the name of one faith or another; tribes and peoples are at war because of conflicting faiths. I do however think that if religion was not available to justify these actions, another basis would be chosen: race, colour or similar.

We were married in church, in the village where I grew up. This may seem hypocritical, especially when I say that my faith was already wavering. The vicar was fully aware that Father Badger was not religious, but said he did not see it as a problem as long as the vows were taken with the right intentions and that he was comfortable saying them in church. It was important to me to marry there, mainly because I see that church and its congregation as the centre of my community and upbringing and full of many people that mean a lot to me.

Over the last few years I have become gradually more aware, and recently consciously admitted to myself, that I don't believe in god. I can't pinpoint when it happened, and I'm not even sure if I ever did - I can't think of a moment in the past where I passionately believed, although I must have at some point. I can't see how a god could allow wars, famine, disease. There is no grand plan, no reason for everything. I do however think that church can be a great strength in the community, and provides a good set of morals for bringing up children.

The agreement I have with Father Badger is that Baby Badger must be brought up respecting other people's beliefs, be that in a god or in nothing. I want her to go to church occasionally so she understands her family background, but it's her choice when she's older as to whether she becomes involved or not.

My biggest problem with the lack of faith is guilt. My father is definitely not a believer any more, a result of deployment to war zones with the RAF, but my mother is still firmly Christian. I know she will be devastated if she finds out that I have no faith, and I really don't want to hurt her in this way, but I also don't want to live a lie. My way of dealing with this is to turn up to church on important occasions by way of it being a family event, but I don't read the prayers aloud and I abstain from communion. One day, though, she's going to ask me a question that I can't sidestep and the emotional car crash will occur.

Do you struggle with a similar dilemma? How do you deal with having different beliefs to your family? Have you had the conversation I dread, and how did it go?

Image: nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Guardian Questions & Answers Meme

I've been tagged by Stay at Home Mum over at sahmlovingit, but the meme was born over at Mrs Lister Writes and is based on The Guardian Weekend Magazine questions.

I'm just back from a self-imposed exile from my blog and Twitter in order to get more sleep and concentrate on the important job of being mum. Hopefully this is a nice way to return refreshed. And now for my answers...

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My Dad. He's truly a good a person, kind, caring. He made a good career for himself after leaving school with few qualifications, then in his fifties took up his RAF commission to make a difference in some very dangerous locations.

When were you happiest?
My wedding day. Truly the best day of my life, and I can pretty much remember every moment.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Honestly, I don't tend to get embarrassed in a big way. Maybe because I've never had a tendency to do stupid things on alcohol, and maybe because I'm thick-skinned.

Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My car. I think anyone who doesn't say that either drives a banger or has very expensive taste in jewellery.

What is your most treasured possession?
My engagement ring. Father Badger chose the stone and had it shipped to the jewellers and I would be devastated to lose it.

Where would you like to live?
Right where I am. I live in the village where I grew up, with family on both sides near by. All I might change is to move to a more characterful house with a bit more garden.

What’s your favourite smell?
I'm definitely not a perfume girl. Good quality chocolate and vanilla rate highly on my favourites, but also fresh ripe fruit: mango, lime, strawberry.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
I'm rubbish on actors, mainly due to my inability to sit still and watch an entire film. Someone once compared me to Liv Tyler, athough I think they were being extremely kind, so let's go with her.

What is your favourite book?
It's too hard to narrow down. I could read Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising" series again and again.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Picking Baby Badger's bogeys. If I spot one, it's got to come out...

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Anything with an element of goth or rock: leather, studs, black eye liner. There's a whole host of famous characters, superheroes, etc. that give the excuse...

What is your earliest memory?
Falling in a rather large pond at a friend's house. I was probably about four. It was the first of many ponds I fell in.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
If I've had a tough day and the car needs filling up, I sneak a chocolate bar for the way home.

What do you owe your parents?
My education and morals.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
An ex-boyfriend from university. We split up over a strange misunderstanding/argument and he took it very badly. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I guess it can't have been that strong a relationship in the first place.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Until June 2010 it was my husband: I can't imagine my life without him. From June he's been usurped by my daughter by a narrow margin.

What does love feel like?
Exciting and all-encompassing yet comfortable and familiar.

What was the best kiss of your life?
The kiss at our wedding, which was followed by a huge round of applause by the congregation.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"I was gonna say..." as an introductory phrase to almost anything.

What is the worst job you've done?
Mucking out stables for free. I lasted one day.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
The evening I introduced my dad to South Park. It turned out to be the episode making light of cancer and it was soon after my gran died of a brain tumour. I should have turned it off but didn't know what to do or say and I think it hurt him that I was watching it.

What is the closest you've come to death?
The accident where my car was written of by a lorry. Luckily we were both going pretty slowly and I swerved otherwise it probably would have gone into the drivers door. As it happens, both my boyfriend (now husband) and I walked away from it.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Other than giving birth... my Open University degree, a first in Maths and Computing. I studied over a period of eight years while working full time.

When did you last cry, and why?
Yesterday. I was tired and grumpy.

How do you relax?
I spend far too long on the internet: on my phone on Facebook or Twitter; on my laptop blogging or managing a couple of community group websites. Sometimes just browsing rubbish.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Sleep. A good ten hours per night, but with still plenty of hours left in the day to do everything I want and need to.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Don't worry about things you can't change.


I'm meant to tag some people here... I know this meme has been doing the rounds so a lot of people have done it already. If you fancy a go, leave a comment to say so and I'll add you.

Image: Jomphong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net