Time on your side that will never end

I was driving back from rehearsal tonight and found myself singing along to the radio... Oh my God I can't believe it, I've never been this far away from home"... I identified that I knew the tune and words because of Lily Allen, but it certainly wasn't her singing. I mentally listed all the bands I thought it could be and guessed The Kaiser Chiefs which, as I've discovered via the power of Google, was correct.

This isn't about a pat on the back for my musical knowledge, surprised as I am at getting it right. It set me thinking about how out of date I am with music today, and how old that makes me feel! I have a vague feeling that something from X Factor or Pop Idol got the last Christmas number one, but I couldn't swear by it or even name the contenders. I have no idea what is in the charts at the moment. The last couple of gigs I went to were Morcheeba and Sisters of Mercy (yes, I know that's a bit of a contrast...). What happened to me...?!

I guess it's time to find something other than Absolute 80s radio to listen to. Any suggestions on a crash course in modern music?!

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I survived!

I did it. I survived my first week back at work, and so did my daughter.

Actually being at work wasn't that bad at all, in fact it almost felt as though I hadn't been away for the last year. My boss chucked me straight in at the deep end and I remembered a surprising amount! The only downside is the half hour of my 45 minute lunch break that I spend getting to the medical room to express milk, but that's my choice so I can't complain.

Baby Badger's days were variable, but on balance fine for the first week.

Monday saw her with my mother in law, happy and smiling to be left with grandma. She had a good day, plenty of playing, an outing in the pushchair, and a couple of naps. Perfect. Not a huge amount of food, predictably, and almost no interest in the milk I left. Not ideal, given that she's not putting on weight, but at least she was happy.

Tuesday was her first full day at nursery. She cried when I left. I was strong, I gave her a cuddle and a kiss and handed her over, saying I would be back later, and left. Then I cried in the reception like a big girl and went to work. I managed to hold it together and luckily the nursery called soon after to tell me she had settled down nicely. She had another good day, happily playing with a couple of naps. Again not much food and refused all the milk. Perhaps a pattern is emerging here...?

Wednesday is my parents' day. Again, she was very happy to be dropped off, and had a happy day ransacking their living room, shredding magazines and posting them through the railings of the fireguard *chuckle*. They managed to get her to eat cheese, hummus and apple - yey! They didn't even offer her the milk as "she didn't ask for it and she'd had some lunch". Not impressed. Seriously. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything, but next week I will ask them to make sure she's offered it a few times.

Thursday, and we're back to nursery again. She cried as soon as we got there, but I was strong, played for a minute and then handed her over. This time I managed not to blub like a girl, and peered through the window - she was happy playing within a few minutes - hallelujah! I left just one bottle of milk this time, saying if that they should call if they need another as I'd be pumping at lunchtime, but I didn't hold out much hope. They called! She'd glugged the lot back and I dutifully dropped the second at reception straight after pumping. It was a day of triumphs: not only did she drink two bottles, but she also ate apple sponge & custard (with her hands, to my amusement and their distress), banana cake and toast.

And then there's today... Friday's are Mummy's days. We had a lie in, plenty of booby access for Baby Badger. A leisurely breakfast, off to music group and then lunch. We cuddled up again mid afternoon for a nap and then went for a walk. Bliss!

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Silent Sunday - 5 June 2011

Take a look at more of today's Silent Sunday posts...

It's finally happened...

... It's the last day of my maternity leave. Baby Badger is at the nursery until 2pm and I'm sat having a relaxing lunch (salad to be healthy followed by crumble because I can) and wondering what next week holds.

I blogged before about my concerns regarding going back to work, and they've not really changed. She's had a practice day with each set of grandparents and took no more than a couple of ounces of expressed milk, preferring to hold out for the source at the end of the day. She is adventurous with food, but still not eating large amounts. Taking into consideration that she's only put on 5oz in two months, I'm a little concerned: hopefully today's lunch at nursery will have gone a bit better than the first settling in session. If not we'll be continuing to shovel down full fat yoghurt after every meal (which she loves)!

I've been feeling quite upset about going back to work recently. The thought of leaving her with someone else, when she's been used to me pretty much all of every day for the last year. She's changing so much now, sometimes on a daily basis, and I'm loathe to miss out on it. She is so close to walking and I'd be disappointed not to see the first independent steps.

On a more selfish note, I've been dreading it because I'm expecting to be dead on my feet for the first few weeks. I hate mornings, and it's going to be a 6:30 start and out of the door at 7:30, with all three of us clean, dressed and fed. That seems like a herculean task! Then follows a day at work (where I spend my lunch break expressing in the medical room) before collecting Baby Badger on the way home. I'll be back before Father Badger most days, so I'll be flying solo for a while looking after her (which I assume I'll be looking forward to) and trying to get dinner sorted. And that's before I consider how on earth I get the vast quantities of laundry done.

This week, however, I've been feeling more positive. We've done several trial runs at the morning, getting up at 6:30 and ready for 7:30. We managed, although I'm pretty tired. Other than not eating enough food, the first two hour nursery session went well, as did the practice days with grandparents.

I think she's going to be ok. I just hope I am.

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